culture

Apocalypse Survival Kits

Yes the end is nigh and all the jazz, but are you prepared doe? For fans of The Walking Dead, your likeliness of survival in comparison to the average commuter has already doubled. You’ve seen it done, you know what goes down and what kind of person you’ll need to become. But one thing that’ll both ‘up your game’ and make you come across that little bit more nuts is obtaining an apocalypse survival kit. It’s not just zombie survival kits that have surfaced around the internet and all over America, it’s also just your general ‘in case of emergency’ kits that have become increasingly widely available to the public through fear mongering and other such things.

Here are some of my favourite survival kits I’ve recently come across with prices ranging from £30-£1000. Get yours now while there’s still time. Mine currently consists of a load of Hello Kitty plasters and a lot of Twiglets.

                                                                      The First 24, £1004.

The First 24 is probably your most useful kit out of all these listed if you’re experiencing an apocolaypse of epic catastrophic proportions. Stored in a waterproof and drop-proof case, this kit contains all the must haves for when shit goes down. Inside features:

1 x Taurus Judge revolver, customized by Aim Pro Tactical
1 x Columbia River Knife & Tool Sting survival knife
1 x Brite Strike EPLI Flashlight (220 Lumens)
3 x Brite Strike APALS emergency signals (White, Green, Red)
1 x Zippo Outdoors Emergency Fire Starter Kit
1 x CaddyPower Pax Slim Line Caddie
6 x Energizer E92 AA batteries
1 x 20 mm Spherical Survival Compass
1 x 550 survival paracord bundle

It might help to learn how to use these things before purchasing. Like the sound of this overly aggresive kit? This baby can be yours for just over £1000 and can be purchased here. Oh, you might have to live in a country that accepts guns too…

The Walking Dead One-Person Survival Kit, £53

The keyword in this The Walking Dead One-Person Survival Kit is the word one. There’s no sharing when it comes to survival, save yourselves and forget the rest. This kit is designed to help you and only you for the first 72 hours of an apocalypse. This kit however, is more of a tribute and side cash cow to fans of The Walking Dead than an actual life saving device. This zombie apocalypse kit features:

2 x Datrex 2400 Calorie Emergency Food Bars. Stay fresh for up to 5 years.
6 x Datrex 4.22 oz packs of Emergency Water. Stay fresh for up to 5 years.
1 x Lifeline Premuim 30 Piece First Aid Kit.
1 x 5-1 Survival Whistle with Flint, Mirror, Compass, Storage Case & Emergency Whistle.
1 x LifeGear Glow LED Flashlight. Lasts up to 400 hours.
1 x Cyalume 12 Hour Glow Sticks.
1 x Emergency Mylar Space Blankets to keep you warm in severe cold.
1 x Emergency Ponchos for Moderate to Severe Weather.
1 x The Walking Dead Survival Kit “WERE SURVIVORS” patch.

A lot less serious that the survival kit above, this package is realistically going to save you for about 1 hour of the zombie apocalypse. Sure you have energy bars and a survival whistle, but 12 hour glow sticks?? This is the end of humanity not a student night. Get your boy scout package here on Amazon.

3 Day All Inclusive Zombie Survival Kit, £64

This 3 Day All Inclusive Zombie Survival Kit will help you get through the first 3 gruelling days of fear. After this, you’re on your own and you’ll wish you bought my first kit at the top. Included is 72 hours worth of supplies to accommodate just one person, so if you’re thinking of sharing, better make this a 1.5 days survival kit ey? Included is:

-Water. Purified drinking water in 6, triple-layered retort pouches that each hold 4.227 fl. oz.
-3,600-calorie energy bar scored into 9, 400-calorie portions.
-1 box of waterproof matches & lightsticks with lanyard hole and hook.
-The Kit’s Mylar emergency blanket is waterproof, reflective, and retains up to 90% of body heat.
-A basic first aid kit contains: 7 bandages; 2 gauze pads; 2 alcohol prep pads; 2 wet naps; and 1 tube of triple antibiotic ointment.
-1 emergency hammer that can shatter glass and has a built-in seatbelt cutter.

-1 survival bracelet with built-in whistle and 10 feet of nylon cord.

I heard nylon’s really in at the moment so that survival bracelet would at least brighten up your day every time you looked down at your disembodies arm. Cop yours at Amazon right here.

Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival Kit, Sold Out.

Now I saw this guy make a group of celebs drink their own urine out of plastic bottles the other day so he’s already got my attention. The Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival Kit is currently sold out due to popular demand and apparently contains everything you could wish for in case of emergency. It’s probably the most functional out of the list containing items that would actually be considered useful if shit were to go down. Featuring items such as Land to air & SOS instructions, fishing rods and pen knifes, this kit is probably a really good gift idea for any of your nature loving friends. Keep an eye out for availability & purchase here on Amazon.

The Mobile Foodie Survival Kit, £18.48 (sold out)

Last but not least is my favourite of the survival kits. This one goes out to all those that don’t plan on sticking around for long, but want to go out with a stomach full of well peppered meats and seasoned greens. This ‘kit’ contains all the necessary spices and seasonings one needs to get by without having to lower your eating standards post apocalypse. With 13 self-contained spices, you’ll be everybody’s best friend when it comes to eating time. Spices include wasabi, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, thyme and sea salt with re-usable tubs. All this could be yours for the kind price of £18.48, however the item is sold out. Instead why not just grab the seasonings in your kitchen and make it into a really cool bullet belt kinda thing. Yeah!

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